Down and Out in Denver

Bon Voyage!

Posted in denver, travel by Blake on November 25, 2009

Denver's Very Lovely Airport by Night

Les boys de DaOiD are heading out of town for the weekend to give thanks and eat lots of stuffing!   Well, one of us (not me) has already flown the coop and the other (moi) commences his journey this very morning. By 5:30 p.m. MST I shall have reached my destination.

Along the way these are some of the things we will be very thankful not to see in our travels:

1. Couples in matching workout gear. Ground rules: in order to wear a “workout” outfit, one must have worked out in it at least the one time.

2. People who dress more casually for travel than they do to lounge around their homes watching TV. We get it, you want to be comfortable but come on, dress up a little for air travel!  Let’s bring some elegance back to the skies.  My own mother has never worn jeans on a plane and while that might be a little extreme, let’s at least banish all sweatpants, shorts, and workout clothing (see #1, above) for anyone over the age of 16. Southwest may have people lining up like cattle, but that doesn’t mean we have to dress poorly, too!

3. People eating pizza and other hot food in their seats on the plane.  Clearly this is a consequence of the lack of meals being included but there’s something disconcerting about someone tucking into a big melty meal when that someone is located mere inches away from oneself.

4. And speaking of: people (read: straight men) who insist on taking up more than their allotted seat space by using both armrests; attempting to raise the armrests altogether; or moving their legs and knees into their neighbors’ space.

5. People who try to board the plane ahead of their seating area or seat number.

6. People who bring on too much carry-on luggage, thus monopolizing the overhead bins to the detriment of the rest of us who follow the rules.

7. Couples who insist that, simply because they are coupled, they are entitled to sit together, even when some of us will have to switch seats to accommodate their “needs.”  All of this, in their minds, is perfectly reasonable because some of us are traveling by ourselves and thus don’t have real rights to the seats that we preselected months ago when we booked our flights.

What will you be thankful not to see during your holiday travels?  Leave a comment if you are so inclined and I’ll approve them all as soon as I arrive at my destination.

And Happy Thanksgiving!


6 Responses

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  1. MGP said, on November 25, 2009 at 5:52 pm

    I’m definitely guilty of #2 (shorts– whatever, I’m southern), #3 (I have an abiding love for pizza that cannot be shaken by changes in altitude), and #4 (Blake doesn’t believe me but I swear I’m tall).

    But fellow travelers fear not– I’m not flying for the holiday so my beshorted legs won’t be inappropriately entering your space while I’m enjoying my Papa John’s.

    When I AM flying, though, I’m always thankful not to see people shoot up out of their seats upon landing and stand in grotesque positions waiting to get into the overhead bins and off the plane. Sit it down, folks. We’ll all be getting off the plane soon. As if the marginal 1.2 seconds that’s saved because you’re already standing when it’s your row’s turn to exit really justifies your antsy behavior. And where was all of this commitment to efficiency when we were boarding?!

  2. MGP said, on November 25, 2009 at 5:53 pm

    Oh, and I’m also thankful that I’m not flying United, which is dead to me.

  3. hd said, on November 26, 2009 at 7:13 am

    gawd, please don’t let me run into any frazzled, first-time moms towing a cranky infant. oh wait, that’s me.

    • Blake said, on November 26, 2009 at 9:25 am

      Thank you commenters! I concur, I concur. Though cranky infants I actually tend to be rather forgiving of; it’s certainly not their parents’ fault. UNLESS, and this is a big one, they allow their children to kick the back of my seat and don’t do anything about it. That drives me insane.

      One further objection that I discovered en route yesterday: people whose carry-on bags are too long to go into the bins wheels first so they basically take up two slots. If it don’t fit, buy a new bag!

      I also concur with MGP’s irritation over those who stand up as soon as the plane has come to a stop, ESPECIALLY those who do so before the “fasten seat belts” light has gone off. I kind of love it when the flight attendants have to reprimand them over the announcement system!

  4. kiwimark said, on November 26, 2009 at 9:48 am

    As far as 4 is concerned, I am forgiving if he is charismatic somehow. It makes me part of the problem, I know.

    • Blake said, on November 27, 2009 at 9:39 am

      You make a good point! Every once in a while someone appealing shows up and his extreme proximity is not such a problem! I was actually blessed with an EMPTY SEAT beside me this time around. Astounding!

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